So, there I was in 2012, in the midst of a spontaneous Kundalini awakening while chopping onions like a culinary warrior. Suddenly, my life took a sharp turn into the bizarre, launching me into realms of energy, enlightenment, and spiritual chaos.

I was born and raised in a Catholic household, with zero firsthand experience of any other religion or philosophy. It was just me and my narrow, one-track spiritual upbringing, blissfully unaware of the rabbit hole I’d eventually tumble down. My understanding of spirituality was as deep as a kiddie pool—zero yoga knowledge, no incense-filled rooms, no “om mani padme hum” chants echoing in my ears, and definitely no meditation practice. The closest I got to anything “spiritual” was wondering why Hindus have so many gods. Like, do you get a punch card after the 10th one? Is there a god of lost keys? Because I could’ve used that.

As a kid, I was fascinated by the story of Adam and Eve. But as I grew up, that tale started to feel about as relevant as dial-up internet.

Questioning God and Raising Hell

I mean, seriously—who wants to worship a vengeful God who sacrificed His only begotten Son? Not this girl! In a moment of spiritual crisis, I boldly declared to God, “I’m done with you!” Picture me with my hands on my hips, channeling my inner rebel. And if I ended up in hell for that, I figured, “At least I’ll have good company!”

As I angrily stabbed my cutting board a few times, my heart raced like I was in a high-speed chase. I could practically hear the angel on my shoulder desperately trying to zen me out while the devil was on the other side, taking notes like he was preparing for a pop quiz and casually holding some holy water, just in case I needed a little splash of divine intervention.

The Awakening Experience: Shock and Awe

So, there I was, huffing and puffing, when suddenly I plopped down and started taking deep breaths. As I inhaled and exhaled like a seasoned yoga guru (who definitely wasn’t me), a current of energy surged through my body—think of it as being plugged into an electrical outlet, but without the shocking part.

Then, bam! An intense pop in my lower back twisted me backward like a gymnast attempting a daring stunt. If I’d been in an exorcism, I might have screamed in terror. But this experience was purely physical, and trust me, it didn’t come with any holy water or a priest in sight!

Next thing I know, I’m being pulled upward, like I’m in an elevator to the heavens. This wasn’t physical; it was spiritual—like my spirit had just decided to exit my body. You might be thinking, “What were you smoking, Jewels?”—but unless onions have psychedelic properties, I can assure you I was not under any influence. Just me, a cutting board, and a whole lot of divine intervention!

What followed was something words can’t even begin to describe. I became one with God—seriously. It was a feeling of total, unconditional love. I wasn’t just feeling love; I became love itself. While I’m sharing this in a lighthearted way, experiencing God deserves utter respect. I firmly believe He has a sense of humor, but this moment was so profound it was truly indescribable.

A Love So Big, It Was Ridiculous

I loved everything and everyone—plants, squirrels, my neighbor who mows his lawn at 7 AM on Sundays (bless his heart), and even the cat that yowls at 3 AM as if it’s auditioning for a horror movie. I felt so much love, it was as if I had won the cosmic lottery of affection, and the jackpot was never-ending. I even managed to find it in my heart to love the pedophile waiting for a life sentence. Seriously, talk about an advanced level of forgiveness!

I was channeling non-judgment and acceptance like a spiritual overachiever at an enlightenment convention. Those feelings have stuck with me to this moment, serving as a profound reminder of the depth of compassion that can exist within us.

And just when I thought I was getting the hang of things, I felt like a chip had been downloaded into my being with all the answers to the universe. Not that I had all the answers right away, but I knew I had the answers to my questions.

Being one with God is no joke—it’s a game changer. I lost all sense of time and space. Was I there for five seconds or five hours? Who knows? When I finally returned to my body, I found myself staring blankly at the wall, utterly zoned out, as if my mind had taken a permanent vacation, leaving me with nothing but a lingering sense of awe.

The Aftermath: A New Normal

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I realized there was no going back to my old self. That moment was more real than anything I’d ever experienced. I had changed—same body, but my soul had transformed into a shiny new model. My awakening was life-changing, unveiling the true essence of my being, far removed from the mundane expectations of the earthly world.

I knew I needed help; I couldn’t move on through life without some kind of guidance. I didn’t know who or where to ask; I just sensed my church was off-limits. My internal cry for help led me to a wise guru from India, who walked me down the path of meditation like a spiritual tour guide. This journey plunged me into the depths of tantra and Buddhism, and yes, I dove headfirst into the sutras of yoga, eventually snagging a certification in this ancient discipline. Because nothing screams “I take my spirituality seriously” quite like contorting my body into positions that would make a pretzel jealous while chanting in a language I barely understood.

Embracing My Weirdness

As my journey continues, whether in the stillness of the night or amidst the chaos of everyday life, I find myself constantly learning and growing. Each moment brings new insights, challenges, and opportunities for deeper understanding. My intuition clamors to be heard—the voice that disregards societal norms and dances to the rhythm of the universe. I’ve come to realize that my path may be somewhat lonely, but I am never truly alone. I am a humble student, with God as my guide.

And let’s not forget about my unconventional buddy, the devil! After all, he’s turned out to be a surprisingly great teacher, always keeping things interesting. I mean, who else would remind me to have fun while I’m busy setting boundaries? Plus, he has a knack for throwing in unexpected challenges just to keep me on my toes—because what’s a spiritual journey without a little mischief? 😈

If you’d like to know more about Kundalini, check out my post

🐍 Kundalini, The Serpent Energy That’s Been Sleeping in You All Along 🐍.

Explore the insights of ✨ Igor Kufayev ✨ a spiritual teacher known for his seminal work on Kundalini, the power behind the transformation of consciousness, culminating in his exploration of Samavesha, the way of immersion into divine consciousness.